What's Love Got To Do With It?

Apparently nothing, I just can't seem to win. I wish I could crawl in his head sometimes and see what's going on in there. Someone said to me yesterday "Doesn't he know what a  gold mine he has in you?" and while I think he does, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he doesn't care? Maybe he thinks he doesn't deserve me? Maybe I'm not making him happy? I could do the "maybe" thing till I'm blue in the face.

I tried to do something to show him that I want us all to be together and be happy and it ended up shooting me in the back. Why can't he just learn to bend some and have a heart? I was going to surprise him with tickets to take his kids and my kids to the races. Thank God I didn't do that because he made plans to go out of town to his mom's and his dad's house. Not sure which because he said both. I'm done trying to find him a great birthday present. He can celebrate on his own.

We have this stupid thing where we delete each other from words with friends when we are mad. It's so childish and ridiculous it's unbelievable, but we still do it. In fact he did it at midnight last night. Ooooh nooooo, not deleted again?!?! I've got 10 other games going, I'll keep on playing away.

Apparently he needs space and that's just what he's got. I'm going to go on with my life and if he decides he needs me in his life then he will come back, I just hope it's not too late. Those are choices he has to make. He didn't seem to be too bothered about me breaking up last weekend so maybe (Ooh there's that word again) he doesn't give a rats tail about me........it's sure looking like that more and more each day.

I want a man that cherishes me, adores me, lights up when I enter a room, one that comforts me, holds me, and wants me happy. It's not too much to ask, this I know. I can most definately give a man all of the above, and then some!

I hope things change, but it's not looking too good. He will one day see what he's let go, this I know as well. Whether he wants to see it now or not, I do not know. Knowing him and his hard head he won't see it for a month or so. When the holidays come and he's got no one to celebrate with as a partner will probably be the time.

Anyway, I've got a big date tonight and I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to stop thinking about this big mess and let him do the thinking.

My heart will mend...........it's just got some missing pieces right now....

                                  Scars heal, Glory fades...............

Have a wonderful weekend! I know I will!